🌙 Q1 2025 Wrapped

🚨 Breaking News 🚨 
Your quota just got cut in half!

Just kidding. It’s April Fools－your quota is still unreasonably high and you nicknamed your pipeline Bon Jovi, because it’s Livin’ on a Prayer.

Welcome back to ✨ Midnight Memo ✨ － the place for those who lock in when the world clocks out. (For Fools & Non-Fools)

This Week
🌆 Start-Up Frenzy: The Fall of a Tech Princess
💻 Late Night Report: Winners & Losers in the First Quarter
🎉 Hiring Heat: Top Companies Hiring Right Now

Winners & Losers of Q1

Winner 🏆: AI - (Literally anything AI)
Loser 🍅: Tesla - (Down 32% YTD & Getting Rammed by 4 Wheelers)

Winner🏆: The Astronauts - (They are home!)
Loser 🍅: The Astronauts - (An 8 day trip turned into 9 months)

Winner 🏆: Netflix’s 1% - (Those of us who never had to get our own account 😏)
Loser🍅: Aviation Industry - (Under a miscrope just 3 months into 2025)

Winner 🏆: Women’s Basketball - (Record viewership, shout out to Caitlin Clark)
Loser 🍅: Metaverse - (Really hope no one bought fake real estate there)

That’s a wrap on Q1 and it’s hard to believe we are already 25% of the way through the year. Are you on track for your goals? If not, luckily there is plenty of time to make a change! 💪🏼

SDR/BDR
✨ SimCare AI - Conversational AI
✨ FlexDesk - Prop Tech
✨ Givefront - Nonprofit Tech
✨ Soraban - AI Accounting
✨ Nestor - HR Software

Account Executive
✨ Freshpaint - Data Infrastructure
✨ Aden - AI Agent
✨ Soraban - AI Accounting
✨ Swif.ai - AI Security
✨ Clipboard Health - Hospital Software

CSM/AM
✨ OfferFit - Marketing AI
✨ Freshpaint - Data Infrastructure
✨ Aden - AI Agent
✨ Soraban - AI Accounting
✨ Clipboard Health - Hospital Software

Prison Pilates: The Fall of a Tech Princess

Elizabeth Holmes is about to get a roommate, because the only thing Silicon Valley loves more than a failed startup is an overhyped one!

For those who missed it, Charlie Javice convinced JPMorgan to buy her student loan software startup, Frank, for $175 Million on the promise they had 4.25 million users.

Fast Facts
👀 They actually had less than 300,000
💼 JPMorgan didn’t do the necessary due dillegence
🏆 She was Forbes 30 Under 30… and now is going to be Felon Under 30

A classic tale of move fast, break things, but don’t check the numbers 🤫

The Best Part? Until sentencing in July, her lawyer is arguing she can’t wear a house arrest bracelet because it will interfere with her new found passion of ✨ teaching pilates ✨.

SNL couldn’t even write comedy this gold 🤌🏼

You’ve chased deals and dodged “Update your CRM” slacks from your boss all week so let’s raise a glass－it’s time for The Night Cap.

Manhattan
🥃 2 ounces rye whiskey
1 ounce sweet vermouth, such as Carpano Antica Formula
2 dashes Angostura bitters
Maraschino cherry, for garnish

History: Believed to have been creating in New York City around 1860. First mixed at the Manhattan Club for a banquet to celebrate Grover Cleveland in the Presidental Election.
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